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Guidance for families.
What to do when someone dies

Guides on what to do when someone dies, here or abroad, written for families doing this for the first time. Nothing here asks you to buy anything.

Grief and support 4 min read

Inna lillahi, and what to say to a grieving Muslim family

What Muslims say when someone dies: Inna lillahi and its meaning, Allah yarhamhu, condolence messages, and what to say if you are not Muslim.

Repatriation 4 min read

A death in Dubai or the UAE: the police, the papers and the route home

What to do when someone dies in Dubai or the UAE: the police, the death certificate, the embassy letter, a burial there, and the route home.

Repatriation 4 min read

When someone dies in Spain: the first calls and the paperwork

What to do when someone dies in Spain: who to ring first, how the death is registered, what a judge can add, and how to bring your loved one home.

Repatriation 3 min read

A death in Tenerife or the Canary Islands: the consulate, the papers, the route home

When someone dies in Tenerife or the Canaries: which British consulate to call, the Spanish paperwork, and bringing your loved one home.

Repatriation 5 min read

A Muslim funeral in the UK, and burial abroad

A Muslim funeral in the UK: ghusl, the shroud, the janazah prayer and burial, how to keep the coroner and registrar quick, and burial abroad.

Direct cremation 3 min read

Babworth Crematorium: what families need to know

Babworth Crematorium near Retford, DN22 8FJ: who runs it, a cremation with no service, when the ashes are ready, the gardens and visiting.

Direct cremation 3 min read

City of London Crematorium: what families need to know

The City of London Cemetery and Crematorium in Manor Park, E12: who runs it, a cremation with no service, the ashes, the gardens and visiting.

Direct cremation 3 min read

Visiting a chapel of rest: what to expect

What a chapel of rest is and what a viewing is like: how your loved one will look, what you can do, taking someone with you, children, and hospitals.

After a death 3 min read

What embalming is, and when it is needed

What embalming is in the UK, gently explained: whether the law requires it, when it helps, repatriation, consent, the alternative, and green burial.

After a death 4 min read

What happens to a bank account when someone dies

What happens to a bank account when someone dies in the UK: sole and joint accounts, paying for the funeral, when probate is needed, and debts.

Grief and support 4 min read

What to write in a sympathy card, and what to leave out

What to write in a sympathy card or condolence message: what to say, phrases to avoid, a colleague, a late card, and example lines to start from.

Direct cremation 3 min read

Taking ashes on a plane: airline and airport rules

Can you take ashes on a plane from the UK: yes, in hand luggage, in a container that can be X-rayed, with three documents. What airlines want.

Direct cremation 4 min read

Taking ashes abroad: the documents and the cost

Taking ashes abroad from the UK: the three documents, which countries ask for more, the cost, taking a small amount, and sending them instead.

Reading 3 min read

Five books on grief: memoirs, a classic and a guide

Five books on grief that readers and counsellors return to: Didion, C.S. Lewis, Kübler-Ross and Kessler, and two more, with a note on each.

Reading 3 min read

Famadihana in Madagascar: the turning of the bones

Famadihana, the Malagasy turning of the bones: what the ceremony is, why the Merina people keep it, the family tomb, the silk and the dancing.

Repatriation 4 min read

What a UK funeral director does in a repatriation, and what we do

What a funeral director does in a repatriation, what a specialist does, and how to tell whether your local firm is doing the work or passing it on.

Reading 3 min read

Alternatives to burial, and which exist in the UK today

Alternatives to burial in the UK: natural burial, burial at sea, water cremation, human composting and more. What each is, which exist, and the cost.

After a death 4 min read

Who to notify when someone dies: the full list

Who to notify when someone dies in the UK, the full checklist: Tell Us Once, then banks, pensions, insurers, the employer and the house.

Grief and support 3 min read

Should children go to the funeral, and how to prepare them

Should children go to the funeral: usually yes, if they want to and are prepared. What charities advise, how to prepare a child, and if they say no.

Reading 3 min read

Ten films about grief and loss, and what each gets right

Ten films about grief and loss, from Manchester by the Sea to Up: what each gets right about bereavement, and which to watch on which evening.

After a death 4 min read

What happens when the coroner is involved

What happens when a death is referred to the coroner: why deaths are referred, the post-mortem, release for the funeral, the inquest, and timing.

Repatriation 3 min read

Schengen and repatriation to Romania and Bulgaria

What Romania and Bulgaria joining Schengen in 2025 changed for a road repatriation: no land-border checks, and the documents still needed.

Grief and support 4 min read

Grieving far from home, when the funeral was abroad

Grieving far from home, when the funeral was abroad: missing the funeral, the rituals you cannot keep, no one who knew them, and what helps.

Grief and support 4 min read

How to support someone who is grieving: practical help

How to support someone who is grieving: what to do in the first fortnight and the months after, how to offer so it is accepted, and what to avoid.

Direct cremation 3 min read

How long does a cremation take, and when do you get the ashes

How long a cremation takes: 90 minutes to three hours in the cremator, ashes ready the same day or next, and back with the family within days.

After a death 4 min read

How Tell Us Once works, and the one deadline it has

How the Tell Us Once service works after a death: what it notifies and what it does not, online or by phone, and the reference's 28-day limit.

After a death 3 min read

The medical certificate of cause of death, explained

The medical certificate of cause of death, or MCCD: who issues it, what the medical examiner does, and how it differs from the death certificate.

Repatriation 4 min read

Who pays for a body repatriation, and how to keep the cost down

Who pays for a body repatriation to or from the UK, in what order to check insurance, employer and estate, and four things that reduce the cost.

Repatriation 3 min read

What documents does a repatriation need

The documents a repatriation needs, to the UK and from it: death certificate, apostille, translation, the coroner, embalming and coffin certificates.

Grief and support 4 min read

Planning a memorial service after a direct cremation

Planning a memorial service after a direct cremation: what it contains, where to hold it, the ashes, whether you need a celebrant, and the size.

Reading 3 min read

Tibetan funeral traditions: the sky burial explained

Tibetan funeral traditions: what a sky burial is and why it is practised, the Buddhist teaching behind it, the rites around it, and Tibet's other funerals.

Direct cremation 3 min read

What is included in a direct cremation, item by item

What is included in a direct cremation: the coffin, the collection, the care, the cremation fee and the ashes returned, and what is deliberately left out.

Reading 4 min read

Eco-friendly funerals: what each choice actually saves

Eco-friendly funerals in the UK: natural burial, biodegradable coffins, avoiding embalming, cremation's footprint, and what actually reduces impact.

Reading 3 min read

Día de los Muertos in Mexico, and what each part means

Día de los Muertos, Mexico's Day of the Dead: its Aztec and Catholic roots, the ofrenda, marigolds and sugar skulls, and why joy shares the day.

Reading 4 min read

A short history of cremation in the UK, from 1885 to now

History of cremation in the UK: the 1884 Price case, the first crematorium at Woking, the Cremation Act 1902, the churches and direct cremation.

Direct cremation 4 min read

What is the cheapest way to be cremated in the UK

The cheapest ways to be cremated in the UK: direct cremation, doing it yourself, the Funeral Expenses Payment, donation and a council funeral.

Reading 3 min read

Funeral traditions in Asia: Hindu, Chinese and Korean

Funeral traditions in Asia: Hindu cremation and the Ganges, Chinese funerals and ancestor veneration, the Korean jesa, and beliefs about rebirth.

Grief and support 4 min read

Saying goodbye when there is no funeral to attend

Saying goodbye with no funeral to attend, after a direct cremation or a funeral abroad: the viewing, the hour you hold yourself, and the memorial.

Grief and support 4 min read

When a death is expected: what you can arrange in advance

When a death is expected: what you can arrange, the conversations worth having, the funeral and paperwork you can settle, and what must wait.

Repatriation 4 min read

Body repatriation or a funeral abroad: how families decide

After a death abroad: repatriation, cremation there with the ashes brought home, or a funeral there. What each costs and takes, and what settles it.

Reading 3 min read

Funeral traditions in Africa: Ghana, Egypt and Madagascar

Funeral traditions in Africa: the Ghanaian funeral and its fantasy coffins, Egyptian burial from the pharaohs to Islam, and the beliefs about ancestors.

Repatriation 3 min read

The first call: what we ask you and what happens in the first 24 hours

What happens on the first call to a repatriation firm: five questions we ask, what you need not have ready, and what is done in the first 24 hours.

Repatriation 4 min read

The rules for moving a coffin across borders

The rules for moving a coffin across borders: UK law on leaving, the destination's law on arriving, the carrier's rules, and why the sealed coffin exists.

Repatriation 4 min read

When a repatriation is delayed: the usual reasons

Why a repatriation is delayed: the five usual reasons, from the coroner and the consulate to a missing document, and what a good firm tells you.

Repatriation 9 min read

Repatriation, step by step, in both directions

Repatriation step by step, to the UK and from it: who to tell first, what it costs and who pays, the documents, the coroner, road or air, and the arrival.

Repatriation 4 min read

Repatriation from the UK to Romania: what families ask us

Repatriation from the UK to Romania, the questions families ask: the road, the consulate's authorisation, the coroner's four days, the funeral date.

After a death 3 min read

Putting your affairs in order: a short checklist

Putting your affairs in order, eight things: a will, a lasting power of attorney, your funeral wishes, a list of accounts, passwords, and where it all is.

Repatriation 4 min read

Does travel insurance cover repatriation, and what to do first

Does travel insurance cover repatriation to the UK: what it includes, the three common exclusions, the deadline, and choosing your own firm.

Repatriation 4 min read

How to choose a repatriation company: seven questions to ask

How to choose a repatriation company: seven questions to ask, what a good answer sounds like, and the two answers that end the conversation.

Repatriation 4 min read

Religious and cultural requirements in a repatriation

Religious and cultural requirements in a repatriation: each faith's needs on time, embalming and who prepares the person, and what rules permit.

Repatriation 4 min read

Repatriation from the UK to Nigeria: what families ask us

Repatriation from the UK to Nigeria, what families ask: the High Commission's permit, the documents, the flight, the sealed casket and the cost.

Repatriation 4 min read

Can a family arrange a repatriation themselves?

Can a family repatriate a body themselves: what you can legally do alone, what needs a funeral director, and what doing it yourself would save.

Repatriation 5 min read

Sending someone home from the UK: the process

Repatriating a body from the UK, step by step: registering the death, the coroner's notice, embalming, the sealed coffin, the consulate, the apostille.

Repatriation 3 min read

How much does body repatriation cost from the UK

How much repatriation costs from the UK: the estimated bands by destination, what drives the figure, and what a written quote should itemise.

Repatriation 3 min read

What is a repatriation flight, and is it what you need

What a repatriation flight is: the three meanings, which applies after a death, how a body travels by air, and why most European cases go by road.

Repatriation 4 min read

Body repatriation to the UK: the process

Repatriating a body to the UK, step by step: registration and release abroad, documents, embalming and the sealed coffin, transport, the coroner.

After a death 3 min read

How to get a death certificate, and how many copies you need

How to get a death certificate in the UK: bought at registration, more from the register office or the General Register Office, how many, the cost.

Grief and support 4 min read

Grief at Christmas and on the first anniversaries

Grief at Christmas and on the first anniversaries: why days with a date are hardest, why dread is worse than the day, and the decision that helps.

After a death 4 min read

How to claim the Funeral Expenses Payment

How to claim the Funeral Expenses Payment: who qualifies, what it pays, the six-month deadline, and how to claim by phone or on form SF200.

Grief and support 4 min read

Funeral etiquette in the UK: what to wear and what to say

Funeral etiquette in the UK: what to wear, flowers or a donation, arriving and sitting, what to say at the door, the wake, and what changes by faith.

After a death 3 min read

What happens when someone dies without a will

What happens if someone dies without a will in England and Wales: the intestacy rules, who inherits in what order, who administers, the surprises.

Direct cremation 4 min read

Cremation or burial: cost, timing and what each involves

Cremation or burial in the UK: what each involves, what each costs, how long each takes, the paperwork, and the three things that decide it.

Grief and support 4 min read

How grief affects your body, and when to see a doctor

How grief affects your body: the stress response, broken sleep, appetite, aches and chest pain, what is normal, and what needs a doctor.

Repatriation 4 min read

What happens when a British citizen dies abroad

What happens when a British citizen dies abroad: four calls on day one, what the consulate can and cannot do, and deciding on coming home.

Direct cremation 3 min read

Can you attend a direct cremation? What you can choose

Can you attend a direct cremation: no one attends the crematorium. Instead: a viewing at the chapel of rest, three choices, the ceremony after.

Direct cremation 3 min read

Choosing an urn: the size, the material and the use

How to choose an urn for a loved one's ashes: the use decides it. Size, materials and the right urn for keeping, burying, scattering and travel.

Grief and support 4 min read

What is bereavement, and what support are you entitled to

What bereavement means, and your entitlements in the UK: Bereavement Support Payment and its deadline, bereavement leave, and other help.

Direct cremation 8 min read

Direct cremation step by step: from the first call to the ashes

How direct cremation works, step by step: the first call, collection, the chapel of rest, the paperwork, the cremation and the return of the ashes.

Grief and support 3 min read

The weeks after the funeral: what helps and what can wait

What happens after a funeral: the morning after, the practical things, the one deadline in the paperwork, the silence once everyone has gone.

After a death 3 min read

What happens when someone dies at home

What to do when someone dies at home in the UK: who to ring, expected or not, who comes to the house, and when collection happens.

Direct cremation 4 min read

What different faiths say about cremation

What Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Sikhism and Buddhism say about cremation, tradition by tradition, and what to ask your faith leader.

Direct cremation 3 min read

What to do with the ashes: six options and two rules

What to do with a loved one's ashes: keeping, scattering on land or water, burying, a garden of remembrance, dividing, and taking them abroad.

Direct cremation 3 min read

Why families choose direct cremation: four reasons

Why families choose direct cremation in the UK: four reasons they give, from the person's wish to keeping the goodbye apart from the cremation.

Repatriation 4 min read

By road or by air: how the transport is chosen

How transport is chosen for a repatriation: by road for most of Europe, by air where a road cannot go, and what each means for your loved one.

After a death 4 min read

What happens when someone dies in hospital

What happens when someone dies in hospital in the UK: the first hours on the ward, the bereavement office, the medical certificate and collection.

After a death 4 min read

How much does a funeral cost in the UK, by type

How much a funeral costs in the UK: the average burial, cremation and direct cremation, what makes up the bill, and why it varies by region.

Direct cremation 4 min read

How much does a direct cremation cost in the UK

How much a direct cremation costs in the UK: our fixed £1,295, what it covers, the two things it does not, and the UK average cost of cremation.

Grief and support 4 min read

Telling a child that someone has died, at every age

How to tell a child someone has died: today, in plain words, by age from under five to teens, what each understands, and what children need after.

Grief and support 4 min read

When to get bereavement counselling, and where in the UK

When to get bereavement counselling and where to find it in the UK: the sign, your GP, Cruse, Sue Ryder, NHS talking therapies and crisis lines.

Repatriation 4 min read

How long does a repatriation take, and what decides it

How long a repatriation takes, to or from the UK: five things that decide it, which can be hurried, and why nobody honest gives a date on day one.

Repatriation 3 min read

Repatriation from the UK to Europe by road

How a road repatriation from the UK to Europe works: the vehicle, the Channel, the Schengen borders, the drive in shifts and the handover.

Grief and support 4 min read

What to say when someone dies, and what not to say

What to say when someone dies, in person, by message or in a card: the three things that always work, the six phrases that land badly, and why.

Grief and support 8 min read

Coping with grief in the first weeks: what helps

How to cope with grief in the first weeks after a death: what is normal, what helps, what to avoid, whether the stages apply, and when to get help.

Grief and support 3 min read

Is it normal to feel relief, or nothing at all?

Is it normal to feel relief, or nothing, when someone dies: yes. Why relief follows a long illness, why numbness follows any death, and the shame.

After a death 4 min read

How to register a death: what to bring and the five-day rule

How to register a death in the UK: the five-day rule, who is allowed to register, what to bring to the register office, and what you leave with.

Grief and support 3 min read

The stages of grief, and why yours will not follow the list

The stages of grief: the five, the seven, where they came from in 1969, why they were never a timetable, and what services describe instead.

Repatriation 3 min read

What a repatriation fee covers, and what it doesn't

What a body repatriation fee covers, line by line, what is usually outside it at the destination, and how to tell a complete quote from a partial one.

After a death 9 min read

What to do when someone dies in the UK: step by step

What to do when someone dies in the UK, in order: the medical certificate, registering within five days, Tell Us Once, the funeral, and who to tell.

Direct cremation 3 min read

Is a direct cremation right for us? Six questions to ask

Is a direct cremation right for your family? Six questions to answer together: the person's wish, who must be present, the goodbye, faith and cost.

Grief and support 4 min read

How long does grief last? The first year, month by month

How long grief lasts: there is no timetable, but there is a shape. The first weeks and months, the six-month question, the first year's anniversaries.

Reading 3 min read

Ten quotes about grief and loss, with a note on each

Ten quotes about grief and loss for a card, an order of service or a hard evening, each with a note on what it means and why people return to it.

Direct cremation 3 min read

Direct cremation or a traditional funeral: the differences

Direct cremation or a traditional funeral, side by side: what each includes, who attends, when, what it costs, and what the goodbye looks like.

Repatriation 3 min read

Repatriation when the cause of death is infectious

Repatriation when the death was infectious: which cases are possible with a declaration and a precaution, which are not, and what the certificate is.

Direct cremation 3 min read

What happens at a cremation service, and how long it takes

What happens at a cremation service and how long it takes: the arrival, the service in the chapel, the committal and the curtain, and what follows.

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