The first call: what we ask you and what happens in the first 24 hours

People put off the first call because they do not know what it will be. This guide is what it is. It is written from our side of the desk, as the call actually goes, so that you know what you will be asked and what will have happened by this time tomorrow if you decide to go ahead.

The five things we ask

Where is your loved one now? A hospital, a home, a care home, a hospice, or, if the death was abroad, which country and who has them. This decides whether the next step is a collection, a bereavement office or a funeral director in another country.

Has a doctor confirmed the death, and is the coroner involved? If the coroner has been told, or the death was sudden, unexplained or in an accident, everything waits for the coroner, and we would rather know on the first call than on the third day. If you do not know, we tell you who to ask.

Where are they going? The country, and the town if you know it. This decides road or air, which consulate, which documents, and what band the estimate falls in.

Who receives them? Whether the family has a funeral director at the destination in mind, or whether we should hand over to one we work with. It is fine not to know yet.

Who in the family is making the decisions? One person, who signs the forms and who we ring. Families often have three people ringing us, and we are happy to speak to all of them, but one of them has to be the one whose yes is a yes.

That is all. You do not need a death certificate, a passport number, a policy document or a budget to make the call. Those come later, and we tell you when.

What we tell you on the call

The route, road or air, and why. The documents the two countries will need, in the order they will be obtained, and which of them are yours to get. The shape of the timetable, honestly: which of the five things that decide it apply to your case and what we can and cannot move. And the estimated band, with the promise that the written figure to follow is the figure on the invoice. How long does a repatriation take and how much does repatriation cost from the UK are what we say on the phone, written down.

If you have already been quoted by someone else, we will tell you whether their list makes sense. Ringing us commits you to nothing.

The first 24 hours, if you say yes

Within the hour, the notice goes to the coroner for the district that your loved one is leaving England and Wales, because the coroner has four clear days to reply and those days should start today, not when the death certificate arrives. If the death was abroad, within the hour we have spoken to the funeral director or the hospital there.

The same day, you have a written estimate by email, itemised, naming the receiving funeral director if you have chosen one, and saying in one line what is not included.

The same day, we tell you what to do about the registration: when the medical examiner is likely to ring, how to book the register office the moment they clear the certificate, and what to take.

By the end of the day you know the name and number of the one person who is your contact, and that person knows where your loved one is. From then on, you are told where they are at every stage without asking. Repatriation, step by step is the rest of the process from here.

What we will not say on the first call

A date. Not because we do not want to, but because nobody honest can before the coroner, the consulate and the carrier have answered, and a date given on day one to make you feel better is the thing that goes wrong on day five. We give you the shape of it on the first call and a firm arrival when the vehicle leaves or the flight is confirmed.

If you are not ready to ring

Read what happens when a British citizen dies abroad if the death was abroad, or sending someone home from the UK if it was here. Both are the same conversation, written down, for when you are.