Memorial service

A memorial service is a gathering held in memory of the person who has died, without the coffin present. It can take place days or months after the death, in a church, a hall, a garden or a home, and it can be as formal or as informal as the family wants.

Families hold one when the funeral was small or far away, when the person was cremated without a service, or when people who could not travel for the funeral want to gather later. A memorial service usually has a eulogy, readings or music, and often a book for people to sign. With ashes present it can end with a scattering or an interment.

After a direct cremation, a memorial service is what many families choose in place of a funeral. The ashes are back with the family within a few weeks, and the gathering can be held wherever and whenever suits them.

Who leads it

A humanist, religious or independent celebrant will meet the family, write the tribute and lead the day, for a fee of a few hundred pounds. For a small gathering, a friend who knew the person and can hold a room often does the job just as well. A church will hold a memorial service for someone cremated elsewhere, and a crematorium's chapel can be booked for one without a cremation.

How long it lasts

An hour is usual for the formal part, and shorter is fine. The food and drink afterwards work as a wake, and that half is the one people tend to remember. The size is simply the number of people who loved the person and can get there.

Read next

How to plan one, where to hold it and whether you need a celebrant is in planning a memorial service after a direct cremation. Saying goodbye without a funeral at all is in saying goodbye when there is no funeral to attend.

Related terms: Eulogy and Cremation. Every term in the funeral glossary.