Eulogy

A eulogy is the speech given at a funeral or a memorial service about the person who has died. A family member, a friend or the person leading the service gives it, and it usually takes between three and eight minutes.

A eulogy is not a biography. The ones people remember pick a few true things about the person: how they spoke, what they cared about, a story that shows them as they were. It can be read from a page, and most are. If you are asked to give one and are not sure you can get through it, ask the celebrant or minister to read it if you have to stop; that is common, and nobody minds.

A direct cremation has no service and so no eulogy at the crematorium. Families who choose one often hold their own gathering afterwards, and the eulogy is given there.

Who gives it

At a crematorium service the tribute comes after the welcome and before the readings and music. A celebrant who did not know the person will meet the family beforehand and write the tribute from what they are told, so a family who would rather not stand up can still have one given.

Fitting it to the time

Crematoria book services into fixed slots, so a eulogy there has to share the time with the readings, the music and the committal. If several people want to speak, tell the funeral director early: a longer service means booking a double slot. A memorial has no slot to fit, and it can give anyone who wants to say something the chance to say it, which a funeral rarely allows.

Read next

Words other people have found, for a card or an order of service, are in ten quotes about grief and loss. If the eulogy is for a memorial rather than a funeral, read planning a memorial service, and for what to say to the family, what to say when someone dies.

Related terms: Memorial service and Wake. Every term in the funeral glossary.