Bereavement (bereaved)

Bereavement is the experience of losing someone close to you through their death; to be bereaved is to have lost someone in this way. It brings grief, and practical changes too: arrangements to make, time off work and sometimes financial support.

Bereavement, grief and mourning

The three words are often used as if they meant the same thing. Bereavement is the fact: someone you love has died. Grief is what you feel about that fact, and mourning is what you do, through the funeral and the rituals your family or faith keeps. The difference matters because the law attaches things to the fact of bereavement.

Help with money

If your spouse or partner has died, you may be able to get Bereavement Support Payment from the Department for Work and Pensions. If you are arranging the funeral and receive a qualifying benefit, the Funeral Expenses Payment can help with the cost; in Scotland it has been replaced by the Funeral Support Payment. Council tax drops by a quarter when a household is down to one adult. None of these is offered automatically, so each has to be asked for.

Time off work

The law gives employees a reasonable amount of time off when a dependant dies, for the first days and the funeral arrangements. It is unpaid unless your contract says otherwise. Working parents whose child dies under 18, or who have a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy, have a legal right to two weeks off, and eligible parents may also receive Statutory Parental Bereavement Pay. Many employers offer paid compassionate leave beyond this.

Support with how you feel

Your GP can refer you to bereavement counselling and talking therapy, both free. Charities such as Cruse and Sue Ryder support people who are bereaved, and you do not need to be in crisis to contact them.