Complicated grief (prolonged grief disorder)

Complicated grief, also called prolonged grief disorder, is grief that stays intense and overwhelming for many months, often more than six, so that everyday life such as eating, going out or work stays very hard. It is more likely after a sudden or traumatic death or the death of a child. A GP, NHS talking therapies or a specialist bereavement charity can help.

How it differs from other grief

In most grief, the feelings slowly become more manageable, even if the ache stays. With complicated grief, people describe feeling stuck in overwhelming pain, numbness or despair. Severe sadness, yearning and guilt carry on, and basic things like shopping or returning to work stay out of reach. It is a recognised health condition, though in the UK doctors do not usually give it as a formal diagnosis.

Who is more likely to feel it

It is more likely after a death that was sudden, violent or tragic, after the death of a child, where the relationship had been difficult, or when someone already lives with a mental health condition. A grief that no one around you recognises can weigh more heavily as well. Any of these is a good reason to look for support sooner rather than later.

Where to find help

What matters is less how long it has been than whether you can get through the day: get up, eat, see people. A GP is the usual first step, and can refer you to NHS talking therapies and local bereavement counselling. Cruse Bereavement Support offers specialist grief counselling, and you do not need a referral to contact them. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, ring the Samaritans on 116 123, free, at any hour. If you are in immediate danger, ring 999.